Five Lessons about Communication

Powerful communication involves timing, silence, listening, actions, and carefully chosen words and emotions...

1. First Things First: Communication involves making internal choices. Timing can make all the difference when conveying your thoughts. Some things need to be said up front, and some things are better said later. Knowing the difference is crucial. If there is something important that you need to say to someone, say it now. There isn't always a second chance.

2. Silence is Powerful: Moments of silence can sometimes send the most powerful messages. Not every moment in a conversation needs to be filled with spoken words. Sometimes silence is more telling, effective, necessary, and appropriate.

3. Messages are Everywhere: Listen deeply, not only to what a person is saying. Listen to what they are not saying. Hear the messages between words, within emotions, and in the choices of words used. Often, these silent messages are not there by accident. Ask questions and confirm what you think you heard.

4. Actions Tell the Story: Actions are the greatest tellers of the truth. They need to be congruent with our words. This is a powerful lesson that is often overlooked. Powerful communication requires watching and doing as well as speaking and listening. Actions that back up words will build trust.

5. Turn to the Appropriate Emotional Page: Match your emotions to the needs of your communication partner. Children are especially sensitive to the emotions accompanying our words. In order to hear our messages, they need for us to be on the same page with their level of enthusiasm. Emotions and words chosen and measured carefully allow us to communicate with empathy while communicating with honesty.